Little Prime Riding Hood
by Squid Senpai
Summary: Optimus and Knockout have their Sparkday on the same day apparently. They also both receive costumes based off the story, little red riding hood, and wear it on that day. Crack and OOCness! Yaoi and oneshot


**A/N: Hey everybody! This is my first fully grown plot bunny! I caught it from looking at a picture on Deviantart by Peanut-chan called "Hungry like the wolf." I'll be sure to put the links in my profile later! I will try to update "I'm Sexy and I Know it" and for the readers of my story called "The Lovers of Time" I am sorry for my fiasco! Enjoy!**

**P.S: There is YAOI! I'll warn you when,okay?**

"**Spit out your Stride gum and chew another piece already, or we'll find you!"**

** -Stride Gum Commercial**

**Disclaimer: No matter how many times I wish upon my lucky star, Hasbro will always own Transformers. For some reason the star flat out hates me…**

"_Beeping"_

Comm link

'_Thoughts'_

_Special name such as the Nemesis or the S.S Queen Mary_

Optimus sighed when he felt the sun touch his optics. Normally he would've been up hours ago, smiling at his still-half-in-recharge teammates. But today was different; it was his slagging Spark Day. Under normal circumstances, he would've lost his calm demeanor and be running around the base while squealing as if he were a little girl, but sadly something always goes horribly wrong on his birthday since, well, he was Sparked.

The Prime grumbled as he left his berthroom, praying to Primus that-

"_Happy Birthday Optimus!" _Bumblebee beeped happily.

-no one would remember.

"Thanks Bumblebee," Optimus sighed while putting on a weak smile. Bumblebee pouted _"C'mon, turn that frown... all the way around!"_ "We even made a party for you!" Raf called out from Bumblebee's shoulder, earning a glare from his yellow guardian. _"RAF! It was supposed to be a SURPRISE party!"_ Bumblebee cried -err, beeped- out. Optimus face palmed, today was going to be a long day.

Knockout grinned wickedly after putting his buffer away. Today he had to look his best, no, better than his best! It was his Spark Day! And by some wild chance, his luckiest day since he was Sparked. The red mech pranced down the halls of the _Nemesis _to the rec room; earning a few "Happy Birthdays" and "Congrats" from the vehicons (he doesn't call them drones because they have intelligence. He once had a pleasant conversation with one about colors)

The door opened with a swish to reveal a nicely decorated rec room. "Happy Spark day!" everyone shouted (Soundwave's screen said happy spark day.) Everybody was smiling; even Megatron had a slightly goofy grin, at the Birthday Mech. "Happy B-day buddy!" Breakdown chuckled as he grabbed his friend into a bear hug. "Watch the paint!" Knockout joked; after all, he wouldn't want to ruin his special day and his special day alone. Or was it?

"Happy Spark day," Arcee giggled at Optimus' surprised look, after all, she came literally from the roof. She smiled and then planted a kiss on the big rig's lips. Optimus blushed, the only femme ever to show him that much affection was Elita- one herself. "T-thanks Arcee," Optimus stuttered as Arcee leaped off of him and went to stand next to Jack.

"What everyone else said," Ratchet waved from the TV, extremely engaged in what Miko called 'cartoons.' "Thanks old friend," Optimus nodded, knowing his friend meant _'You're awesome and I'm glad it's your spark day, I just don't know how to say it._'

"Whoa! Hold on Prime!" Bulkhead cheered as he put a pointy red hat that said 'Birthday Boy' all over it on Optimus' head. "Sweet!" Miko grinned as she appeared from behind neatly wrapped boxes "Present time!"

"Happy Birthday to you!" everyone finished singing (Soundwave had lyrics on his screen, still too shy to show off his amazing singing voice. He had confidence the size of an ant.) "Party time!" Starscream, well, screamed. "No, Present time," Megatron stated bluntly while hitting his SIC. "Pfff… fine," Starscream muttered as Knockout picked up a neatly wrapped box.

After most of present time… (I'm too lazy to write the rest ^.^)

"Aw, Soundwave, you're so nice!" Knockout grinned. Soundwave's facial screen turned slightly red when Knockout pulled out _Violin Hero_ and placed it next to a Xbox from Breakdown, some Mangas from Megatron, a stack of movies from Starscream, and a new painting kit from Arachnid. "Okay. That's all of- hey, there's another," Starscream interrupted himself while pointing to a plain box.

Knockout shrugged as he opened the box, not knowing who exactly it was from. "A wolf costume?" Breakdown broke the awkward silence as he touched the soft brown fabric. "You have to wear it today!" Megatron snickered "ALL DAY!" The red medic blushed slightly at the laughter he received (Yes, this time Soundwave actually laughed. Joy) "I'll be… back."

Several minutes later, Knockout returned wearing the wolf costume. "Oh no! The Big Bad Wolf!" Arachnid fake cried. Knockout rolled his optics as his friend's girlfriend hugged him "Yeah, so you should run now."

"Who is it from?" Bulkhead asked in wonder as he poked the red mini dress that appeared from the last brown box Optimus had opened. "My mom, literally," Optimus sighed as he put on the red stockings. Miko giggle as Jack fell over from a major nosebleed "Your mom? Does she think you're a girl?" Optimus shook his head "No, she wants me to be one." The truck carefully leaned over a passed out Arcee to retrieve the red cloak and mini dress "how do I look?" "…like a girl," Wheeljack muttered. At that moment, everybody burst out laughing. After all, this was a once in a lifetime experience. A Prime in a dress! Not even the ancients could predict THAT!

"Optimus, Decepticons on the move," Ratchet managed to choke out. "Autobots! Roll out!" Optimus shouted. "Don't you mean skip out?" Wheeljack chuckled, earning another roar of laughter. Optimus sighed, a long day indeed.

"Can't you use your nose to find it?" Breakdown joked lamely again. Knockout sighed "No more jokes, seriously." "It's hard not to as of your… current state," Megatron replied, once again isolating the red medic. Knockout grumbled curses in English, German, and Cybertronian, signaling that they were near the energon vein. The red medic grinned wickedly _'Almost…. Almost, almost, almost-'_

"Megatron, your treachery ends here," a familiar baritone voice called out. _'Great, now rims is here to make fun of me,' _Knockout kept his head low. "Sure, I bet you will-" Megatron turned around and just FROZE.

"My lord, what-" Starscream quickly joined Megatron as they stared at the Autobot leader. Eventually all the Decepticons were staring at Optimus for he was wearing… "A DRESS? Prime, what is WRONG with you?" Megatron burst out laughing, followed by the laughter of his teammates. "Hey, little red riding hood and the big bad wolf," the yellow Autobot, Bumblebee, pointed out, earning laughter from (almost) everybody.

**YAOI ALERT!**

At this moment, Optimus didn't feel so alone. He took a step forward, the frills of his dress bouncing, making the others laugh even harder. He fiddled slightly with the bow on his neck "Big bad wolf…" Knockout nodded in reply. "Don't eat me," Optimus craned his neck down, suddenly realizing he was in front of Knockout.

Their lips pressed together slowly and gently. At that moment, the world slowed down. The laughter sounded distant, the breeze stopped. The only thing Knockout was aware of was Optimus, and he was pretty sure it was the same for the Prime. The red medic reached his hands under Optimus' skirt and squeezed the bigger mech's aft, earning a slight squeak from the big rig. Knockout growled hungrily (Ha ha ha), he wanted more, but couldn't get it. "Let's go somewhere else," Knockout whispered, his red optics locked with blue ones. Optimus nodded "Yes, we-"

"Knockout!" Megatron snarled "What are you doing?" Optimus jumped in surprise. "Getting a Spark mate," Knockout snarled and, to everyone's surprise, lifted Optimus and ran away.

**A/N: Gah! My fragging finger and arm are bugging me! Don't ask… unless you wanna know.**

**Review so I can go to the hospital for my nosebleed….. and to make the Transformers throw you a party!**

**Flames bake their authors!**

**P.S: THIS IS AN ONESHOT! Feel free to continue just send me the link! Oh, and there's a new episode of TFP today on the Hub!**

**BYE!**


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